Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Change happens one day at a time

As you may have heard from Facebook or Twitter, my dad had a stroke.

He had a stroke 15 minutes before I was going to see him over Christmas. This stroke was only a mild stroke, more like a warning than anything else.

What was it a warning of? My father is an alcoholic. A terrible alcoholic. When I found out how much he drank in the run of the day I was in shock. It actually scared me.

As I'm standing next to his girl-friend, listening to her retell the story of the happenings of that morning to the neurologist on-duty, the only thing that I can focus on is the number she used when the doctor asked what he drank that morning. It was only 11am when the stroke happened. What was he doing with that already in his system? Did he get up extra early because he knew we wouldn't let him have a single sip?

When I was 18. I hit the bottle like all young kids going away to university. After my 8th week in school, I began to notice a pattern in myself that I didn't recognize. I couldn't remember the weekends any more. From the moment the first liquid hit my lips on Friday afternoon I had little to no recollection of what happened until Monday afternoon.

I sat in the library one afternoon studying for a test when this occurred to me. At the same time, I started to look back at my childhood and all the pictures I've seen over the years. In each picture and memory, there is something sitting on the table, on the arm of the chair, or curled within the frozen pose of my father's hand. A drink. For 18 years worth of pictures and memories, my father always had a drink in his hand. From the moment he woke up until he went to bed. It appeared to be a never ending flow.

I made a commitment to myself that morning. A commitment to my future that would better ensure my health and future for whatever family I had. I vowed that I wasn't going to pass on the desire/need to drink to my kids.

Lets look at some family history.

4 grand parents.
2 parents.
6 aunts and uncles.

7 of them have problems with alcohol. Almost 60% of my immediate family have alcohol problems.

That is where I draw the line.

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